Why fostering older children matters

Latest figures reveal that 65% of children in care are 10 years or older, which means that if you’re open to fostering children from 0 to 18, you’re more likely to be matched with a child who is already a teenager or on the cusp.

Some people believe they’ll make more of a difference if they foster a baby or younger child rather than a teenager. But the truth is that when you foster an older child, you welcome them into your home at a pivotal stage, when lots of change is happening at the same time, and they need stability more than ever.

In the UK, care leavers typically have poorer outcomes than their peers – they’re less likely to go to university or complete another higher qualification. They’re also more likely to experience homelessness, physical and mental health struggles, and spend time in prison.

But with your guidance, love, and support, you can help teenagers begin adulthood positively and improve their outcomes.

Foster mum shares rewards of fostering teenagers

Foster mum Fiona has been fostering teenagers for more than 10 years and is currently long-term fostering two teenage siblings. She shared the rewards of this type of fostering.

She said, “Fostering teenagers is challenging, but I wouldn’t want it any other way. I’m quite young at heart and have experience with teenagers, having raised my own children. It was exactly what I wanted to do, and I’m good at building a relationship with them.” 

“By giving teenagers a stable, long-term home, you help them get ready for when they leave care by teaching them how to live in the outside world, which can be quite hard for them.” 

“When my teenagers first came to me, they weren’t used to attending school, but I encouraged them, and it’s so rewarding to see them go to school, sit their exams, and move forward in creating a life of their own.” 

Health and hygiene

This section covers anything health-related, from eating well and knowing basic first aid to booking and attending doctors and dental appointments. It’s about helping teenagers make healthy decisions that will safeguard their physical and mental health when they live alone.

You can help your young person build these skills by making healthy living part of their usual routine, so it becomes normal for them. When they start living with you, discuss bedtimes and mealtimes to help them begin thinking about these things themselves.

You could also ask them to select some recipes to cook together, and if they’re feeling unwell, encourage them to book the doctor’s appointment to practice making these important calls.

Social skills

Good social skills don’t only come in handy when making friends; they also make it easier for young people to build relationships at work, advocate for themselves, and resolve conflict.

To build social skills, young people need a Secure Base where they feel safe to be themselves and have an adult who teaches them how to regulate their thoughts, feelings, and actions.

You can help them develop social skills by encouraging them to interact with young people their age, role modelling positive social behaviour, and using conflict or times when they have big emotions as opportunities to follow up with teaching them how to manage themselves better next time.

Time management

Time management is a key skill that young people need to be successful. Being punctual, handing work in on time, and showing up when they say they will not only prevent your teenager’s personal and professional relationships from breaking down, but will also reduce their stress levels.

Completing homework and revising for exams are a great way to practice meeting deadlines, and if your teenager struggles, encourage them to use tools designed specifically for this purpose. From physical calendars and diaries to interactive apps where they can set reminders, help them discover a tool that works for them and try to resist the urge to remind them yourself, so they have the chance to take responsibility for their own time.

Decision making

Once your young person is living independently, they’ll have to start making both little and big decisions for themselves. This could be as simple as what to eat for dinner or more complex like deciding which party to vote for in the next general election.

Many teenagers like to make choices for themselves, whereas others might be more reliant on adults to make decisions for them because they lack confidence or find it overwhelming.

You can support your young person to build this skill by giving them some autonomy wherever possible. For example, they could help you meal plan each week, decide where you’ll go on your next family holiday, and decorate their own bedroom.

Money and shopping

Without skills in money management and budgeting, it could make life a lot more difficult for your teenager when they’re independent and could even lead to financial ruin and homelessness.

Pocket money is a great way to start helping your young person understand the value of money, as is supporting them to find their first part-time job when they reach 16. You can also encourage them to create a budget using a spreadsheet, notebook, or app, and give them the chance to practice their skills by letting them take charge of your grocery shopping for one week.

It’s also a good idea to teach your teenager about income tax, national insurance, and claiming universal credit, as well as the risks of taking out credit and not paying their bills on time.

Around the house

When your teenager begins living alone, they’ll be solely responsible for the upkeep of their home.

From laundry and basic DIY to health and safety in the home and basic sewing skills, making chores part of your teenager’s routine and teaching them how to use a washing machine will make it easier for them to manage when they’re living independently.

It could also prevent fires and burglaries because they’ll know how to keep their home safe and secure.