Having raised four children of her own and empowered her two daughters to pursue their dream careers, aspirational mum Afsheen knew that she had more to give to children in need of love and guidance.
“One of my friends suggested that I would make a great foster parent because of my ability to inspire others to achieve. I knew I had the potential to give guidance to children, in the way that I already do for my own. And I knew I could give a good future to another child. Children deserve care and love, and I thought maybe if I can give guidance, I can give hope.”
Choosing ISP
“When I made up my mind to become a foster carer, I contacted a few agencies, however they let me down a lot. Luckily, I called ISP and, right from the start, I got so much guidance. ISP are not only professional but, with my colleagues and other foster carers, I am getting loads of information, support and guidance – practically and mentally as well.
“When I started my fostering, I was very confused and not sure what to do. But because of the help of ISP, I’m standing here now and I’m 100% confidence what I am doing.”
Multi-cultural fostering
Since 2019, Afsheen and her husband, Muhammad, have fostered six children with ISP Fostering and currently have a little boy living with them. Afsheen and her family, who are Pakistani, have embraced caring for a child of a different race and how fostering has enriched their family life.
Afsheen said: “When we start fostering, we got loads of training about being in a cross-cultural family. Our foster son likes some things which are not allowed in my religion, but we make sure he’s able to make his own choices and still enjoy those things. We empower him to live life how he wants, whether that means exploring foods or his sexuality – no conversation is off the table.”
“Since the first day, I have cared for children from different cultures. I’m Muslim but I make sure I celebrate the children’s festivals. I don’t celebrate Christmas but, since becoming a foster parent, every single year, I am doing everything in my house – tree, presents, all things!
“I took my child to Pakistan, my country. It was a different experience for everyone. I’ve bought our son traditional cultural dress for events like Eid and weddings.”
“My foster children are my family. I want them to know that whatever we do, they are included. And any festivals we celebrate, I make sure that they are always included.”
Download our Fostering Guide
If you’re interested in becoming a foster parent with ISP, then download our helpful guide to discover everything you need to know about fostering.
Life lessons
Foster parents always talk about how much they have learned through their fostering journey, and how much it has changed their own lives. Afsheen is grateful for all the ways that fostering has enriched her life.
She says: “In this journey, I have learned about myself that I have patience, I’m a good listener, and I can give time to my child. I take care of them. I’m trying my best to give them a smile on their faces and try to just take away their sorrow, their sadness, what they had in their past.”
She has also reflected on how things she has learned during her time as a foster mum have helped her to break free of generational trauma and reflect upon her own parenting style.
“I have learned a lot. I look back at when I was raising my own children and wish I’d done some things differently. It’s very hard to break the chains and accept that what we have done in the past as parents, or maybe what our parents did, was not right.
“I apply what I’ve learned through fostering now with my grandchildren. I have a very deep bond with my granddaughter, and that’s because I respect her boundaries. Fostering has taught me a lot about myself as well as caring for children, whether they’re related to me biologically or not.”
The joys of fostering
Afsheen’s fostering journey began over 6 years ago, and she has been looking back on her best moments and the ways in which being a foster parent has made a difference to her life.
She said: “My best fostering moments are spending time with my children. Enjoying the outdoors, seeing happy, smiling faces and how they appreciate what I am doing for them. And seeing them do things that they have never done, experiencing things for the first time. I took my child out of the country for the first time because he never had a passport. He got a chance to travel in the plane and go to other countries. And he really enjoyed that moment.
“I’ve seen children go back to their parents, and that’s a proud moment for me. There are times when I think, yes, I made a difference for a child.”
Afsheen also acknowledges the ups and downs of fostering. The journey can be bittersweet. She spoke of what saying goodbye to a child can be like:
“I was heartbroken when my last child moved on. It’s always difficult when they move on, but we’re here for them. I really started to heal when we welcomed our foster son. The love and affection I was giving to her, I started giving to him. It doesn’t matter who is in your care, you just keep giving continuously.
“You look back on their smile, and I feel so happy for them, because I try my best, giving a hundred percent to give them care, love, happiness and things that they never had. And when I look back at their faces, they are happy.
“The experience of being a foster parent is amazing. It’s like a roller coaster, to be honest. Sometimes you’re on the edge and you are crying and you are mad, and then you are so happy enjoying time with the child – you are dancing, you are singing. When you see children becoming independent and achieving, it really makes you so proud. It’s an amazing journey.”
Afsheen’s advice
Afsheen loves the children in her care the same as her own and thinks that is necessary to be the best foster parent. She gives her advice for anyone who is at the start of their fostering journey:
“I would say to someone who’s thinking to start fostering that, it’s not easy to be a foster carer. It is a little bit hard. It’s like a rollercoaster. Advice I would give to new foster parents is that you need to be resilient. You need to become a good listener and have patience. You need to understand the child who comes into your care. Every single child is different. And just give the children love, give them care.
“Fostering really changed me. If you can foster, you should do it, because there are lots of children who need help right now. There are children who are from broken families, and they really need love and care. You can give a good future to those children. If you have time and availability, and a room, and you can provide care and love to children, then you should do it, you should foster a child.”
Want to learn more about fostering?
Whether you’re new to fostering or are looking to transfer to an agency that provides wrap-around support, extensive ongoing training, generous fostering allowances, and truly understands the needs of children living with trauma, we’d love to hear from you.
Call us on 0800 0857 989 or submit an enquiry form. Our friendly and experienced team is ready to answer any questions you have about fostering and get you started on this rewarding new journey.
Fostering stories
Learn more about transferring today
Transferring to ISP is easier than you think. Speak to one of our fostering advisors today.
Just some reasons to transfer to ISP…
- UK’s most established fostering agency
- Leaders in therapeutic foster care
- We’ll match your allowance at the very least, but often we can beat it
- Wrap-around support from a local team of social workers, therapists, education specialists, and more
- An unrivalled therapeutic training programme
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